You probably didn’t want to hurt your partner. At the core of your soul, this probably goes against everything you believe in.

Now, sadly, there are some of you who “stepped-out” who did it to send a message to your lover or spouse. Some of you have been wounded and wanted to wound back. That happens. Sometimes people do really bad things when they are hurting. There is even a very small portion of you who simply don’t care what sort of carnage you leave in your wake.

That’s rare, though. That sort of true narcisist or psychopath who just doesn’t give a hoot are actually pretty rare. Thankfully!

So, I’m guessing that if you cheated on your partner you knew it was wrong, you thought you could get away with it, and you did it partly because you felt something was missing from your life. That’s no way to live our lives. It’s not mature or brave or compassionate, but it is common.

And, more importantly, if you try, if you say “I am sorry” and if you mean it, you’ll be a better person for owning up. If you do the work to repair the trust you broke, you will at least become a better, more compassionate and braver person for doing it. It is human to do really stupid things. It is also human to grow, to be brave, and to love.

I wish you well,

Lindsey Jay Walsh, MMFT

Photo: Aaron Burden on Unsplash