I Know these Things to be True
Having Knowledge in our Back Pocket, so to speak, helps us know where we are, where we are going, and gives our life meaning (even if we can’t feel happy in a particular moment). In knowledge (and the curiosity that leads to it) are solutions for bad driving, losing things, and anxiousness in the wee hours of the morning.
Below I share some strategies for driving better, knowing where your stuff is, and dealing with night time worries. The sorts of small things that we can deal with and make our lives 1% better every day.
This One’s a little more Goofy
This post is perhaps a little goofier than some of my other essays. This is partly by design and partly by necessity. I hope that my sense of joy resonates with you, if for no other reason than joy makes it so much easier to tool up to face our concerns.
Besides, if you like people and they deserve your affection, it is so much easier to tell them the truth.
Knowledge, like Pockets, lessens the Juggling
I have these great, comfy pyjama pants that I almost never wear. Why? Because they don’t have pockets and thus increase the complexity of my life. A pocketless-evening leads to questions such as: “Where am I going to keep that Kleenex I haven’t quite used up?”
Or: “What do I do with my phone when I’m holding the glass of milk and the cookie?”
Sure, I could carry the cookie in my mouth, but, then the milk/cookie ratio will be totally off-set. And one must never mess with the milk/cookie ratio.
So, in a contest between pocket v. no pockets, I will always vote for pockets (except in swim shorts). I’m pro-pocket because they reduce the amount I need to juggle at any given moment, and thus, lessen my mental load.
I like to keep my mental load composed of stuff that is worth its weight.
Knowing where my Kleenex and phone are, while having one hand for my cookie and another for my milk, frees up my brain for more important tasks such as making sense of the Iran-Contra Affair.*
“Honey, I know exactly where my wallet and my keys are and don’t need to ask you”
It’s not easy being married for 21 years. No one ever told my wife you that for every year of matrimony, she would be asked more than one billion times to help me find my eyeglasses, keys, or wallet. And I swim every day, so then it became about my goggles.
“Honey, have you seen my keys?”
“Sweetheart, any idea where my wallet is?”
“Seen my swim goggles?”
“Hey, I know you’re running late to the meeting, but can you help me figure out where are the things you bought me to keep the water out of my ears so I stopped needing to ask you to repeat yourself all the time?”
And that number of “Honey have you’s” only increased into the trillions when we became parents.
“Honey, where is the stroller?”
“Darling, seriously, do you remember where I put the stroller? I think the baby is in it.”
(Not a true story. I have lost many things but never my son. That is possibly only because as a baby, I had him strapped to my chest most of the time.)
Anyhow, the simple point is that my wife and I deserved better from me. I needed to figure out how to know where my stuff was (most of the time). This only ended when I decided to keep my wallet, keys and ear buds in the exact same place every time you use them.** Yes, it is exactly that simple and exactly that difficult.
Having the knowledge of where your stuff is in your back pocket will spare you hours of looking for things.
Because the Internet
Apart from the human brain itself, there is nothing more simultaneously useful and harmful than the internet. It can help you learn how to do calculus, but it also helped your grandfather’s neighbour send that racist email. You can make a doctor’s appointment for that scary rash or be convinced that the world is a scary place that is out to get you. (Most of the time, it really isn’t, just don’t read the emails from your grandfather’s neighbour and stay off of X.)
Because the Internet is so Bingeable
The internet enabled smart phone is also the first thing that people from all ages, (exposed) cultures, and demographics are equally addicted to. I don’t know any nine year olds who are raging alcoholics, but, well, Minecraft. And though I have a great deal of respect for the wisdom of my elders, I can’t tell you how many people even older than I am that I have had to plead with to turn off their phones in session.*** Say what you will about Gen-Z or Millenials being entitled (most of the time, they really aren’t), but the phone fuelled zombie-apocalypse is a crisis that knows no generational boundaries.
To paraphrase several sages and Susan Sontag: You can’t scroll and know at the same time.
Because the Internet and Driving
And then add a car to the internet and the bad just multiplies. Why? Well, lack of preparation, distraction, and high levels of life endangerment generally do not go well together. The internet combined with travelling very fast has lead to all sorts of problems. Unless you just took up bull fighting or street-puddle drinking, it is possible that the most dangerous thing you will do today is use Google Maps on the road. Other people may use, say X, to manipulate the stock market, or to increase global hostilities. None of us is likely to do that today, but we might well do something like drive to an unfamiliar place without checking our route, and end up going the wrong way down a one-way street. (Raise your hand if you’ve ever done something that. I see a lot of hands, including my own.)
Now, I don’t know about you but I remember maps. Real, unfold-them-on-the-kitchen-table-and-plan-out-your-route-in- advance, maps. And because I remember maps, I miss them. I miss living in a world in which people thoughtfully use maps. I think I’ll put more effort into, if not paper maps, at least examining my route on my phone before heading somewhere new.
What happens when you think about where you are going before you get in the car? Well, you probably drive a lot better. You are less likely to make an impulsive lane change because Siri tells you to be in the left lane despite the fact that you’re in the faaaar right one. Knowing where you are going and how you are going to get there means that you can focus on the road a lot better, respond more in the moment to the conditions around you.
Knowing things, having them in your back pocket, means that you don’t need to look them up or scream at Siri when you’ve missed your exit. There’s a reason why your phone will probably call 911 for you if it thinks you’ve been in an accident – the phone might well be the thing causing the accident.
Knowing Things and Sleeping at Night
If you are a person who ruminates, who thinks in circles, who worries when you would rather be sleeping…
Looks like I’m out of time for finishing this post. Forgive me. I’m writing this on the day before mother’s day, and I’ve got some prep to do with my boy. I’ll post about Knowledge and Good Nights, soon. That stuff is worth sharing because, I have been able to help myself and many other people sleep better at night not by thinking less, but by interacting with knowledge we already have in our back pockets.
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Have a great day.
Be Well,
Lindsey Jay Walsh, MMFT
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* I feel the need, nay compulsion, to re-live the ’80s for some reason.
**Or, if you’re me, figure out the wallet and the keys, but lose your ear buds and replace them with giant, oversized headphones, and then keep those headphones in the same place.
***The only thing that works is to start talking about pickleball. Pickleball is the only form of human activity that has not been largely ruined by the cell phone.