“Scientists in Israel found that judges were significantly more likely to deny parole to a prisoner if the hearing was just before lunchtime. The judges experienced their sensations not as hunger but as evidence for their parole decision.” – – Lisa Feldman Barrett, How Emotions are Made p. 238
Or: “You’re not you when you’re hungry.” – Snickers
Here’s one of the many things have learned (the hard way) from being a parent:
Don’t Hargue with Hangry!
No matter how much I want my child’s attitude to improve,
sometimes he needs something from me. And it is my job to
figure out what that is. More often than not, he just needs a sandwich.
Once I have met that basic need, the cause of his frustration, we can
have a chat about how to act when we are feeling grumpy.
But sandwich first. Because you can’t think clearly on an empty tank.
There is another lesson I keep learning over and over again.
And this one is much more important:
If I choose to argue rather than seek understand the situation,
I should ask myself if I’m the one in need of a sandwich (or a hug).
One more thing:
Please forgive yourself when you don’t respond great in a tough situation.
But don’t forget to say sorry.
Simple solutions are sometimes hard to remember, so we all deserve a lot
of grace.
And it is by modelling good responses (over and over again) that we teach our children
(and each other) that we can work together to solve our problems.