The Challenge:
To gather more writings that speak to Acceptance, Courage, and Discernment.
I’ve been working on an essay called The Subtle Art Of Caring A Lot. I envision it as a not at all tongue -in-cheek (1) post about the difference between caring and panicking; between caring (which is healthy) and obsessing (which is not – just ask the Montaigues and Capulets).
However, about 2 hours into writing, it dawned on me that there was little I could say that wasn’t summed up in what has come to be known as “The Serenity Prayer”. The Serenity Prayer as we commonly know it is version of sentiments that Reinhold Niebuhr made many times in his life. It’s been popularized by the YMCA movement as well as Alcoholics Anonymous. And Hallmark cards, of course. I first read it in my late teens or early twenties on a poster in an elderly woman’s hospital room. It moved me and continues to be a cornerstone of my ethics.
What I began to wonder about this morning is what other prayers, poems, or songs express these beautiful ideas? Can we make a sort of catalogue of them? Are there secular poems or songs that people who aren’t monotheists read or sing to remind themselves when to be accepting and when to be courageous? I’m sure there are. How many can we find? I ask because we can’t be exposed to too much wisdom in our lives and because sometimes it’s the way a thing is said that makes it sink in.
For example, “Don’t just do something, sit there!” (Sylvia Boorstein) will likely be responded to with a sort of perplexed grace. Whereas, “Chillax, dude!” or “Sit down and shut up” will probably just sound condescending or mean.(2)
Rudyard Kipling’s “If” is also coming to mind. Kipling has a bit of a chip on his shoulder and he was a huge apologist for tyranny, however, I’ve always been impressed with the line “If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you / But make allowance for their doubting, too”. I find that searching for what I can learn from those who disagree with me, or “allowance for their doubting” is liberating. Not all arguments will clarify my thinking, but many will. This helps me correct errors or misunderstandings I may have. The humble person creates room for wisdom, where arrogant people don’t.
I’ll keep working on the essay, but in the meantime, here’s my challenge to you: Help me gather up secular and non-secular messages sharing the spirit of the Serenity Prayer. Not even Reinhold Niebuhr said exactly these words, so we can only imagine that lots of people and traditions have expressed similar wisdom in their own, vibrant ways.
And just in case it brightens your day, or that of the elderly ladies in your life, here’s the Serenity Prayer:
Notes:
(1) Well, maybe a little tongue-in-cheek. I did live my teen years in the ’90s after-all.
(2) “Don’t just do something, sit there!” is one of my favourite sayings, and a great book title. Other favourite book titles: Wherever You Go, There You Are (Jon Kabat Zinn) and Something Under My Bed Is Drooling (Bill Waterson). Also, Dress Your Family In Corduroy and Denim (Not because it’s wise, but because it cracks me up).